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Monty Python's Life of Brian Script

(choose your scene)

Scene 1 - The Relationship of Men and Sheep

Scene 2 - Three Wise Men with Bad Senses of Direction

Scene 3 - Jesus' Lack of Crowd Control on the Mount

Scene 4 - Stonings: How to Find that Perfect Rock

Scene 5 - Premature Ejection

Scene 6 - Bloody Do-Gooders

Scene 7 - Brian Discovers his Roman Heritage

Scene 8 - The Grumpy People's Front of Judea

Scene 9 - Brian Learns to Conjugate

Scene 10 - Before the Romans Things Were Smelly

Scene 11 - The Plot to Kidnap Pilate's Wife

Scene 12 - Brian Earns Jailor's Pet Title

Scene 13 - What's So Funny About Biggus Dickus?

Scene 14 - Lucky Aliens

Scene 15 - Bloody Boring Prophets

Scene 16 - Crucifixion: Could Be Worse...

Scene 17 - The Futility of the Lily in Parable

Scene 18 - The Holy Gourd of Jerusalem

Scene 19 - Brian Denies Messianic Attributes

Scene 20 - Individualism Can't Beat a Good Crowd Riot

Scene 21 - A Fully Trained Suicide Squadron

Scene 22 - Pilate Sentences Brian to Crucifixion

Scene 23 - The People's Front Engage in Frantic Discourse

Scene 24 - The Line to the Crucifixion

Scene 25 - Pilate's Speech Impediment Becomes a Problem

Scene 26 - Romans and Their Complete Lack of Humor

Scene 27 - Biggus Dickus, the High Wanking Officer

Scene 28 - Crucifixion Party

Scene 29 - Forward! To the Crucifixion

Scene 30 - Get Your Red Hot Calvary Souvenirs!

Scene 31 - Brian Gets a Reprieve

Scene 32 - The Centurion Can't Find Brian

Scene 33 - He's Mad Sir!

Scene 34 - The People's Front Pass a Motion

Scene 35 - There's a Bright Side?

 

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