Life of Brian ScriptScene 18: The Holy Gourd of JerusalemThe sketch:holy music FOLLOWERS: ...Look! Ah! Oh! Oh! ARTHUR: He has given us a sign! FOLLOWER: Oh! SHOE FOLLOWER: He has given us... His shoe! ARTHUR: The shoe is the sign. Let us follow His example. SPIKE: What? ARTHUR: Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise. EDDIE: Yes. SHOE FOLLOWER: No, no, no. The shoe is... YOUTH: No. SHOE FOLLOWER: ...a sign that we must gather shoes together in abundance. GIRL: Cast off... SPIKE: Aye. What? GIRL: ...the shoes! Follow the Gourd! SHOE FOLLOWER: No! Let us gather shoes together! FRANK: Yes. SHOE FOLLOWER: Let me! ELSIE: Oh, get off! YOUTH: No, no! It is a sign that, like Him, we must think not of the things of the body, but of the face and head! SHOE FOLLOWER: Give me your shoe! YOUTH: Get off! GIRL: Follow the Gourd! The Holy Gourd of Jerusalem! FOLLOWER: The Gourd! HARRY: Hold up the sandal, as He has commanded us! ARTHUR: It is a shoe! It is a shoe! HARRY: It's a sandal! ARTHUR: No, it isn't! GIRL: Cast it away! ARTHUR: Put it on! YOUTH: And clear off! SHOE FOLLOWER: Take the shoes and follow Him! GIRL: Come,... FRANK: Yes! GIRL: ...all ye who call yourself Gourdenes! SPIKE: Stop! Stop! Stop, I say! Stop! Let us-- let us pray. Yea, He cometh to us, like the seed to the grain.
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