Life of Brian ScriptScene 25: Pilate's Speech Impediment Becomes a PwoblemThe sketch:trumpets CROWD: cheering PILATE: People of Jewusalem! CROWD: chuckling PILATE: Wome is your fwiend. CROWD: laughing PILATE: To pwove our fwiendship, it is customawy at this time to welease a wongdoer fwom our pwisons. CROWD: laughing GUARD #3: chuckling PILATE: Whom would you have me welease? BOB HOSKINS: Welease Woger! CROWD: Yes! Welease Woger! Welease Woger! laughing PILATE: Vewy well. I shall welease Woger! CROWD: cheering CENTURION: Sir, uh, we don't have a 'Woger', sir. PILATE: What? CENTURION: Uh, we don't have anyone of that name, sir. PILATE: Ah. We have no 'Woger'! CROWD: Ohhhhh! BOB: Well, what about Wodewick, then? CROWD: Yes! Welease Wodewick! Welease Wodewick! PILATE: Centuwion, why do they titter so? CENTURION: Just some, uh, Jewish joke, sir. PILATE: Are they... wagging me? CENTURION: Oh, no, sir! GUARD #3: chuckling PILATE: Vewy well. I shall welease... Wodewick! CROWD: laughing CENTURION: Sir, we don't have a 'Roderick' either. PILATE: No 'Woger'? No 'Wodewick'? CENTURION: Sorry, sir. PILATE: Who is this 'Wod'-- GUARD #1: chuckle PILATE: Who is the 'Wodewick' to whom you wefer? BOB: He's a wobber! CROWD: laughing MAN: And a wapist! CROWD: laughing WOMAN: And a pickpocket! CROWD: Yeah! Ahh, no! No! Shh! Shh!... PILATE: He sounds a notowious cwiminal. CENTURION: We haven't got him, sir. Mm hm. PILATE: Do we have anyone in our pwisons at all? CENTURION: Oh, yes, sir. We've got, uh, 'Samson', sir. PILATE: Samson? CENTURION: Samson the Sadducee Strangler, sir. Uh, Silus the Syrian Assassin. Uh, several seditious scribes from Caesarea. Uhhh, sixty-seven seers from-- BIGGUS: Let me thpeak to them, Pontiuth! CENTURION: Oh, no. Oh. PILATE: Ah. Good idea, Biggus. BIGGUS: Thitizens! We have Thamthon the Thadduthee Thtrangler, Thilus... CROWD: laughing BIGGUS: ...the Athyrian Athathin, theveral theditiouth thcribth from Thaetharea, and...
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