Monty Python Scripts

David Niven's Fridge

The cast:

DICKIE ATTENBOROUGH

Eric Idle

The sketch:

Back to Dickie Attenborough at the awards ceremony. He now has bunches of onions slung around his neck.

Dickie: Ladies and gentlemen, seldom can it have been a greater pleasure and privilege than it is for me now to announce that the next award gave me the great pleasure and privilege of asking a man without whose ceaseless energy and tireless skill the British Film Industry would be today. I refer of course to my friend and colleague, Mr. David Niven. (vast applause. Dickie applies tears to his face from a dropper) Sadly, David Niven cannot be with us tonight, but he has sent his fridge. (applause; `Around the World in Eighty Days' music; the fridge is pushed down by the men in brown coats, and a microphone is positioned in front of it. The fridge also has a black tie on.) This is the fridge in which David keeps most of his milk, butter and eggs. What a typically selfless gesture, that he should send this fridge, of all of his fridges, to be with us tonight.

Fridge: (the same silly voice) The nominations for the Best Foreign Film Director are: Monsieur Richard Attenborough, Ricardo de Attenbergie, Rik Artenburg, Ri Char Dat En Bollo, and Pier Paolo Pasolini.

Dickie: Before we hear the joint winner, let's see the one that came sixth. Let us see Pier Paolo Pasolini's latest film.

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